i've hung up my guns

i'm playing the victim card



because i am the victim here



and you're the villain










i don't love you like i did yesterday,
and i don't know if i ever will.


---



i cried myself to sleep last night around nine, and woke up around two.. thinking "what the hell is going on? how did i let that happen? what's going to happen now?" and perhaps signifying and realizing that there were no answers, i just sat in the quiet pitch blackness and fell back asleep. i guess it really is easier to forgive than to forget. i never really knew before.

he must be schizophrenic. i don't understand how someone can be so cruel and then so kind by the flip of a coin.


all i know is i've never been so hurt before in my life... i feel so embarassed, angry, deceived, sad, betrayed, and just so so hurt. but i'm NOT heartbroken. just thinking of how everything he ever said to me was a lie... i was just tricked. my love was a mirage. well, you can put your cards away..

i just need advice
input
a "what would you do in this situation?" survey


i get such bad headaches when i cry for too long... and when i'm sad i get all cold and shiver and lose my appetite like i'm sick or something. i'd rather be sick. this is one of the worst feelings in the world.