o.O

i am a total lesbian. not for realz but here's the thing. i don't understand lesbians, and i guess not gay men either. if you are attracted to girls, you're attracted to... girls. they're feminine nature and attitude. so why do lesbians butch themselves up? i am not attracted to girls like that. (and i'm not one that denies that physical attraction is the foundation of utter attraction.) i only ever find myself attracted to girls that are very pretty and girly to put it simply. it's just like how i'm attracted to guys; i'm not drawn to the ones that don't put off masculine qualities. i really think society would be even more accepting to homosexuals (i do know that only a small portion aren't anymore) if they were just themselves. i just don't support the whole opposite gender role that the majority of them feel they need to play. i know that they do it so that other homosexuals WILL know that they're homosexual as well, and ergo they will have some chance of finding a partner. but i hope that one day, sexual orientation will be completely liberated - that people could just simply ask if one is gay, straight, or bi, and the world would think nothing of it. i really think we'll get there someday. maybe not even in my lifetime but i do think so. so, in short, i highly doubt i'll ever be in a relationship with a girl that i'm attracted to because it would be extremely difficult to find out if she is interested in girls as well because she wouldn't fit the "lesbian" physical stereotype.

but you never know.

and i don't even call myself bi, because simply because i don't look like a lesbian, i am positive that i'd get the whole "you're only doing it for attention" thing. so i'll just keep it all to myself and close friends until a girl comes along that really grabs my attention and portrays any chance of anything happening.




anyway.


state was fun. it sounds really lame and a bit superficial but i feel accepted in my class now. by the people that i always wanted to be accepted by, at least. i've heard that that's what happens during senior year, i guess it's true. and on that note:




they really are quite pretty! i'm going to use my picture where i'm actually smiling but i couldn't find them atm...
once graduation practice starts, life is just gonna rock from there on out, no doubt.