your faith has got to be greater than your fear.
what a great sort of creed.
i'm starting to think no matter how much i try to change things, things won't change. i'm considering starting to wake up at 5 in the morning every day to go to the gym but i'm also considering the doubt that it will even help. i also thought about requesting a new apartment next semester but i doubt that will help either. i've just simply discovered that roommates and i don't get along. roommates in general. i wasn't made for them; i'm not that kind of person. i find it so difficult to leave ryan's house because it's an internal comfort being in a real house with a real family. i hate leaving that to come "home" to.. i don't feel like explaining it again. another note - i don't know what i'm doing with my life. i hate college. i can't get a job. it scares me that the only good thing in my life is ryan, and the fact that that one thing is SO good, it makes my perspective hazy as to how bad everything else is. which is a good thing. i guess. but that makes me pretty dependent on him. which i want to be, because i want to be with him forever. but at the same time, i need to really get my own life organized. at least a little bit. i feel so alone right now, it's killing me.
No comments:
Post a Comment